Fact. Bears eat beets.

Trying to wash the dirt off your face, and then realising its your ugliness.

i wish i was an airplane pilot because at random points during the flight i would go on the intercom and just scream

there’s nothing that angers me more than self-flushing toilets

don’t tell me when i’m done

i miss flip phones because at the end of a conversation u could dramatically close them like what can i do with my iphone throw it against the wall

pants with fake pockets

Every morning.